Submissions of your parents’ worst deaths


“Our family tree is topped with a 2007 Happy Meal toy from the mosquito from The Bee Movie”

Nothing quite says Christmas like home. Step out of the dirty, stark, damp IKEA-laden rooms of your house or apartment and back to your mom’s house for festive home comfort. A beautiful big tree, a beautiful crown, good food. But with all that, the few decorations you wish your parents left to gather dust in the loft for the 12 months of the year, instead of choosing to haunt you with them as you try to get into your spirit. festive. Inspired by my mom’s, I called on everyone to send me their parents’ most cursed Christmas decorations and the results? Heart touching.


Reindeer Wicker Man

Kicking off is this monstrous pair, my mother’s pride and joy and the inspiration for this spooky ride. I literally have no idea why my mom takes her reindeer out of the Blair Witch Project Christmas after Christmas, because clearly nothing says feliz navidad like scaring the dog and a splinter.

“It’s not Christmas unless my mother puts a Christmas hat on her Buddha’s head”

That’s all well and good, but I need to know why there’s a pumpkin in December.

Why are they all toilet themed?

So begins the first of five evil submissions from Chichester student Beth, and I need to know why her parents are so in love with toilet-themed Santa trinkets.

Cursed Christmas decorations

Why is he stuck in a bottle? RELEASE IT!

This is adult content and only for those involved in X-rated Christmas shenanigans.

It’s pornography!

I swear to god those damn Christmas decorations are all from that terrifying playroom scene in The Woman In Black.

Nothing says Christmas like a big fat pigeon

cursed christmas decorations

Sent by Conor from Manchester, I need to know what this distressed pigeon has to do with the Christmas season. “I really don’t hate anything more,” Conor sadly shared.

homemade horrors

“My boyfriend’s mom puts these on her tree every year – homemade by my boyfriend and his sister when they were kids.”

Honestly, I don’t know where to start with any of them. Just when you think you’ve seen it all. THE CD!

0 percent festive

“The cursed spring of my mother’s Christmas tree. It’s literally a spring that you smash into a box and pop out of the box. Pre decorated, pre lit. You can’t add anything to it because it’s a literal springboard. No branches. From Jacques.

“Mom had this Christmas tree which is apparently for people with pets – we don’t have pets”

Cursed Christmas decorations

Hun only vibrates

I don’t even know what happened here

Cursed Christmas decorations

Alright get ready for this one

“Each year our family tree is topped with a 2007 Happy Meal toy of the mosquito from the bee movie instead of an angel or star.” From Anna Chambers – presented without context:

Cursed Christmas decorations

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Build a Christmas dinner and we’ll tell you which college you should have gone to

• If you have any of these items in your Christmas dinner, you are literally a villain

• This country’s obsession with pigs in blankets must end


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